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Geschrieben von JimmyGrill am 24.05.2005 um 17:01:

  the laws of combat

Schon recht alt, aber ganz witzig: the laws of combat:

"If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone"

"If the enemy is within range, so are you"

"Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing

"No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat"

"Things which must be shipped together as a set - aren't"

"Five second fuses always burn three seconds"

"The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it"

"Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself"

“Every command which can be misunderstood - will be"

"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything"

"If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid"

"Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep"

"When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right"

"Never draw fire: it irritates everyone around you"

"Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out"

"If your ambush is properly set, the enemy won't walk into it"

"The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack"

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo"

"Light machine guns - aren't"

"A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive"

"If your flank march is going well, the enemy expects you to outflank him"

"The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range"

"The crucial round is a dud"

"The easy way is always mined"

"Success occurs when no one is looking

"Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it"

"The side with the simplest uniforms wins"

"The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy "

"If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush"

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid"

"All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather"

"No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill"

"If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike"

"There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work"

"Interchangeable parts - aren't"

"Teamwork is essential: it gives the enemy other people to shoot at"

"A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping"

"Military Intelligence is a contradiction"

"The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire"

"Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one"

"If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take"

"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him "

"Any soldier can be a mine detector... once"

"When in doubt, empty your magazine"

"Tracers work both ways"

"Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder"